Let’s talk about something scary…

I know what you’re thinking; Adderson hates scary things like clowns, spiders and Lindsey Lohan but today I want to talk to you about something that is even more scarier than all of these things put together when you’re twenty years old and that my friends is this: The future.

I don’t know why or even how it came to be but I’ve been thinking about the future quite a lot recently and a chat with a good friend of mine has pushed me over the edge to blog about it. Now, the future is great. Why? Well, knowing you have a future means that there is still faith and love and beauty in life. Working towards a future which you can share with someone more so. It is important that you are able to think and plan for the future but there is also a downside to knowing the future is out there. Some may say that the fact you don’t know what the future holds is a bad thing even though I relish this because, well, life’s a little more fun when you don’t know everything there is to know about everything. But I think the worst thing I find about the future is the possibility of having no one to share it with or being alone and thus the scary things begin to creep out.

“When I have children.”

or

“When I get married.”

For a guy at twenty it seems a little far-fetched but then the more you think about the situation; you begin to realise the necessity of making these plans and that they are essential. Now, I’m not talking like concrete plans. I’m not saying you need to choose someone and that’s all you’ve got. You know what I mean right? Those fuckwits who need to pipe the fuck down because they’ve only been going out for a week and all over Facebook, Twitter and whatever else social media they’re using Bob’s status reads something like: “Sally’s going to be the Mother of my children” and Sally’s status says something like : “Me and Bob will be married by this time next year.” And the rest of the world, which is somewhat rational and grown up looks at them and replies: “No fuckwits. Just no.”

I mean that when you plan you need to set yourself deadlines. even though you may never abide by these deadlines because, well, dudes are dudes and men in general wish to hang on to that slither of youth they once had even when they’re in a care home needing assistance to wipe their own arse. So, for example, I want to have kids when I am twenty-five years old and be married before I’m 30. Now, there are the deadlines but see what else I did there. Yep, that’s right. I played it safe. I used the safety net which is ambiguity. Because even though we can plan for the future as I’ve already said, nothing is already set in stone and having that ambiguous planning safety net is useful when… you know… BAD THINGS HAPPEN! I may get a girl pregnant before I marry them and then marry them afterwards, I may not. You have to be prepared for this sort of stuff to happen in the future. If everything was plain sailing, there would be no failures and no success. No victories or defeats. So, the best option is to just be adaptable.

And I know what some of you are thinking whilst you read this. You’re probably thinking that this is a little pessimistic. That this doesn’t paint a bright picture of the future. Yet, look at it this way. I’ve been going out with my girlfriend Jennifer for three years this April 10th. Three years. It’s been hell and heaven all wrapped into one but no matter how much I love her now I cannot and will not guarentee her existence in my life forever. She’s lovely. But with such an unknown future ahead of us, who knows what could happen in the next year, month, week, day, hour, minute or even second? I can imagine my future with Jen, I really can and I smile when i do because that security is lovely but if Jen was to ever kick me to the curb because of say… she couldn’t take my shit any more  It doesn’t mean that I will never find happiness elsewhere. I will feel bad for a long time, I mean three years, our apparent “glory years” are a lot to seemingly waste on one person. But eventually, hopefully I’d be able to rise above it and move on long after she has.

So, what I’m trying to say is this: Yes, the future is scary and mysterious and uncertain but you can prepare for it in some small way. You just can’t have your cake and eat it though because how you are now is most likely not what you’ll be when the time comes.

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