My First Video Reading! An Improvised Poem! Wishes

If a poet, no scratch that, if anyone ever said that they “always knew what they were doing”. They’d be a liar. Simple as. I don’t mean it to be offensive but really, when you think about everything that happens and all the reasons that cause these things to happen; it’s impossible to always know and I’m not afraid to admit that. For example, this is my first ever reading video. I didn’t know this poem was going to be my first reading video, I also didn’t know I’d improvise it until I actually pressed record. So… You know, I’m just saying. Anyway, back to business.

This is a poem about wishes, what people wish to be and a particular person in fact. It has been floating in my mind for a while so, I just went for it. Why not? So here it is, my first video poem, completely improvised…

Wishes.

This one’s for you Jen. x

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Let’s talk about something scary…

I know what you’re thinking; Adderson hates scary things like clowns, spiders and Lindsey Lohan but today I want to talk to you about something that is even more scarier than all of these things put together when you’re twenty years old and that my friends is this: The future.

I don’t know why or even how it came to be but I’ve been thinking about the future quite a lot recently and a chat with a good friend of mine has pushed me over the edge to blog about it. Now, the future is great. Why? Well, knowing you have a future means that there is still faith and love and beauty in life. Working towards a future which you can share with someone more so. It is important that you are able to think and plan for the future but there is also a downside to knowing the future is out there. Some may say that the fact you don’t know what the future holds is a bad thing even though I relish this because, well, life’s a little more fun when you don’t know everything there is to know about everything. But I think the worst thing I find about the future is the possibility of having no one to share it with or being alone and thus the scary things begin to creep out.

“When I have children.”

or

“When I get married.”

For a guy at twenty it seems a little far-fetched but then the more you think about the situation; you begin to realise the necessity of making these plans and that they are essential. Now, I’m not talking like concrete plans. I’m not saying you need to choose someone and that’s all you’ve got. You know what I mean right? Those fuckwits who need to pipe the fuck down because they’ve only been going out for a week and all over Facebook, Twitter and whatever else social media they’re using Bob’s status reads something like: “Sally’s going to be the Mother of my children” and Sally’s status says something like : “Me and Bob will be married by this time next year.” And the rest of the world, which is somewhat rational and grown up looks at them and replies: “No fuckwits. Just no.”

I mean that when you plan you need to set yourself deadlines. even though you may never abide by these deadlines because, well, dudes are dudes and men in general wish to hang on to that slither of youth they once had even when they’re in a care home needing assistance to wipe their own arse. So, for example, I want to have kids when I am twenty-five years old and be married before I’m 30. Now, there are the deadlines but see what else I did there. Yep, that’s right. I played it safe. I used the safety net which is ambiguity. Because even though we can plan for the future as I’ve already said, nothing is already set in stone and having that ambiguous planning safety net is useful when… you know… BAD THINGS HAPPEN! I may get a girl pregnant before I marry them and then marry them afterwards, I may not. You have to be prepared for this sort of stuff to happen in the future. If everything was plain sailing, there would be no failures and no success. No victories or defeats. So, the best option is to just be adaptable.

And I know what some of you are thinking whilst you read this. You’re probably thinking that this is a little pessimistic. That this doesn’t paint a bright picture of the future. Yet, look at it this way. I’ve been going out with my girlfriend Jennifer for three years this April 10th. Three years. It’s been hell and heaven all wrapped into one but no matter how much I love her now I cannot and will not guarentee her existence in my life forever. She’s lovely. But with such an unknown future ahead of us, who knows what could happen in the next year, month, week, day, hour, minute or even second? I can imagine my future with Jen, I really can and I smile when i do because that security is lovely but if Jen was to ever kick me to the curb because of say… she couldn’t take my shit any more  It doesn’t mean that I will never find happiness elsewhere. I will feel bad for a long time, I mean three years, our apparent “glory years” are a lot to seemingly waste on one person. But eventually, hopefully I’d be able to rise above it and move on long after she has.

So, what I’m trying to say is this: Yes, the future is scary and mysterious and uncertain but you can prepare for it in some small way. You just can’t have your cake and eat it though because how you are now is most likely not what you’ll be when the time comes.

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For a friend

This is my friend and also my friend Mat’s Brother, Michael. he’s a good kid and hoping to get into performance and stuff and he asked me to share this with you because, well, because. I hope all goes well for him in the future.

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Assassin’s Creed Frontline: Pilot Chapter

 

The glass fogged expectantly as the hard lumps of ice, clinked happily on the bottom and stacked chaotically one on top of the other. It stood alone, no other to keep it company as from the dark a hand clutching a bottle poured in some whisky and watched as the cooling crystals drowned under a thick, dark wave of malt. This is what it had all come down to, Elliot Norton sat alone behind a desk and sipping on whisky almost as dark as the days he found himself in. He flashed back to times before this, before the raids, before the end and before their leader Edward Miles decided it was okay to abandon his post in order to chase after his son. Norton’s grip on the glass tightened as he thought about Miles.

The two of them together had spent equal time and achieved equal things within the Assassin Brotherhood; they were friends once and although Elliot sometimes found it hard to believe that Edward was his friend, he had often enjoyed his company whilst drinking. Although he missed their conversations about family and friends and whatever else came to mind at the time, there was something within Elliot that churned whenever he thought about these conversations now. Maybe it was the present circumstances. For all that talk of family or even remembering those talks of family made him miss his own, his wife and daughter whom were now in more danger than he could even fathom at this point. He knew that if he went home that they would die along with him, that’s how the Templars were unfortunately. They were merciless. But even so, there was nothing that could make him stop wanting to return to the one’s he loved. Maybe it was those present circumstances that made Elliot Norton de facto Commander in Chief of the Assassin Brotherhood resent his old and trusted friend.

Sitting back on his chair, Elliot’s head lolled to one side and brought his eyes to the closed blinds. He could only bring his free hand to his grizzled chin and then make it work its way to his temples. Stress didn’t even cut it when it came to describing Elliot’s current situation. When the fate of the free world rested on your shoulders after someone else had dumped it at your feet, it was hard to cope.  But Norton was trying even if it meant drinking more whisky than usual and sending out a call to arms to a force as deadly as it was in tatters. The future seemed bleak at that point. “Edward…” he whispered out towards the darkness “You’re a bastard…”

The blinds were closed on the day Edward left too but even then it seemed as though the days were brighter, Norton and Miles together thought that they could bring about a comeback, even after their near extinction there was nothing that Norton and Miles couldn’t do together. But then Abstergo got a hold of his son: Desmond. Desmond had run away from the responsibility of being an Assassin to become a bartender, to waste his life whilst a never ending war that could have benefitted from someone of his lineage taking part raged on.  So it wasn’t easy for Elliot to understand when his friend and leader of the Brotherhood decided it was about time that he made an appearance to save his son. They stood in this very room actually, arguing about it…

“Edward! You’re being selfish!” Norton yelled rising to his feet and slamming his hands on the desk “We need you here, now. You’re our leader!” Edward simply folded his arms and shook his head; even though he usually wore a somewhat cold and harsh demeanour there wasn’t much that could be done to change his mind on this course of action. It was just something he had to do. Desmond was his son. “I am sorry Elliot,” He replied sternly “But this is important.”

“What because he’s your son!”

“Well, yes.”

“People are dying Edward! Dying! Do you understand that? Sons, Daughters, Mothers and Fathers what gives you more of a right than them to go chasing after your family?” Elliot couldn’t help but grit his teeth; he’d wanted to go home for days now. If not just to check that his wife and children were still alive. He’d be back within days or a week at most but Edward had forbidden it and with good reason to. But this, to Elliot, just seemed unfair. He would have to deal with everything on his own whilst Edward was out repairing the broken relationship he had with his wayward son. And as Elliot had already said, people were dying every single day and they were supposed to be under his care. They were his sheep and Edward was meant to shepherd them to safety rather than go off gallivanting across the world. Norton once again banged his hand against the table, whilst Miles just sat there as calm and collected as ever. “What gives you the right?”

Mothers would never see their sons again. Daughters would now have a hole in their lives where their Father once stood. It made Elliot sick to think that he would just be abandoned with the same sort of responsibility. Edward was their leader for a reason, even though they were almost equal in everything else; Edward was a natural leader and Elliot was anything but. “My old friend,” Edward began still sat down and looking Elliot dead in the eyes “This is about a little more than me and my son,” he stopped unfolding his arms for a second and running his hands through the sides of his greying hair “Abstergo targeted Desmond for a reason and the intelligence that they have gathered from him is rather worrying. I couldn’t give a damn about if you think I’m selfish. I have to do this; the world is at stake here.”

“And while you’re doing this I’m supposed to what? Sit here and fight off the Templars and Anonymous at the same time alone?”

“The distress signal has been sent worldwide. Someone will answer the call.” With that Edward got up and prepared to leave. He walked passed Elliot without even looking at him but when Norton grabbed his arm and barred his retreat Edward could only sigh. “And if no one heeds the call? If there’s no one left?” Elliot asked.

“Then hope me and my son can do something…”

Edward left after that and it had been about three months with no answer to their calls. The Assassins, it seemed, were done. Norton had locked himself away in this safe house, he was probably presumed dead by now, maybe his wife had moved on. He flicked open his phone, took a sip of the cold and bitter whisky. He looked at the screen. There were no messages and soon he hovered over his wife’s number deciding whether or not to call her. Could he take the heartache? He’d taken bullets, broken bones and he’d never been scared once. Now though, he could be destroyed by something as insignificant as a phone call. His thumb rose to press the call button.

His phone buzzed to life before it could land though and shocked, Norton jumped in his seat. This phone hadn’t rung for weeks and the number one the screen was withheld. Picking out his gun from the desk’s top draw, Elliot Norton answered the phone sombrely. They had found him. His time was up now and now h could either fight his way out or he could die like the cornered rat he was at the moment. Those were his options and he’d rather indulge in the former if anything.

“Hello?”

“ ’Ello.”

“Hello? Who is this?”

“Well, that’s rude after you called.” The person on the other end was British, from the Midlands. His dialect gave it away, that strange mix of the London and countryside accent spelt out that the stranger was obviously from somewhere that was subject to the London overspill. Elliot made his way to the front door warily and pointed the gun towards the door ready to fire, his eyes slipping to the peep hole as he kept the phone to his ear. Outside, stood a young man, no older than his early 20’s wearing a tweed jacket and a phone to his ear too; it was the man on the other end of the line. “Well, you asked for the cavalry didn’t you mate?”

Elliot was soon amazed that the man wasn’t really alone, next to him were five others adorned in many different types of clothing but the tweed jacketed man with the phone laughed, as the door opened in Elliot’s face and the hidden blade he’d used to pick the lock slipped back up his sleeve.

He hung up the phone.

“So, where do we start?”

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Tonight Alive’s What Are You So Scared Of?

I'm quite scared of the creepy girl on this album artwork. Cool as she is...

I’m quite scared of the creepy girl on this album artwork. Cool as she is…

Album Title: What Are You So Scared Of?

Artist: Tonight Alive

Label: Search and Destroy

Track List: 

  1. Eject, Eject, Eject!
  2. Breaking and Entering
  3. Starlight
  4. Sure As Hell
  5. Let It Land
  6. Fake  It
  7. Listening
  8. Reason To Sing
  9. Safe And Sound
  10. Thankyou and Goodnight Ft. Mark Hoppus
  11. Amelia
  12. In The First Place
  13. To Die For
  14. What Are You So Scared Of?
  15. Bonus Acoustic Track: What Are You So Scared Of?
  16. Bonus Acoustic Track: Safe & Sound
  17. Bonus Acoustic Track: Let It Land
  18. Bonus Acoustic Track: Breaking And Entering

REVIEW:

The début 18 track album of Australia’s hottest new band: Tonight Alive is quite the feat in my eyes. It’s not very often we hear of a band from down under ere in the UK but when we do you know it’s for good reason; I mean, look at Parkway Drive. But the whole thing with there being not many Australian bands known out there kind of confuses me considering Australia boast one of the largest open air music festivals in the world in the form of Soundwave. Yet, Tonight Alive have made the crossing and I’m quite delighted they’ve done so.

Tonight Alive are a five piece Pop-Punk group that are kind of like an Australian version of Paramore, the obvious comparison being that they have a female singer. However, after listening to the album quite a few times, I think it’s a little unfair to compare Tonight Alive to Paramore instantly just because they have a female singer, considering that Genre wise it’s very hard to place them. They are definitely a rock band but where to go from there in the large labyrinth of sub-genres  is quite the mystery. I, personally, would have put them down as a pop punk band thanks to the awesome catchy riffs that they dish out in songs like “Breaking and Entering” or “Thank You and Goodnight Ft. Mark Hoppuse” but there are even some strange tinges of Post Hardcore in the heavy yet melodic sounds of songs such “Listening” and “Fake It”. Even though it’s hard to place them, these blend of genres throughout the album are pretty sound sonically. It sounds amazing especially through a decent sound system, each song fits on the album and deserves its place on the CD.

RATING: AAAA

What Are You So Scared Of? is a very good début album and if anything has wet my appetite for more of Tonight Alive in the future, their catchy hooks, awesome guest appearances and awesome album artwork. I think one of the things that actually made me rate the CD so high was the Acoustic Bonus Tracks.  The tracks themselves sound great but when you can play that track acoustically and still have the power of a fully plugged in song like is shown in the “Breaking and Entering” acoustic rendition; it’s not good. It’s fantastic. So, I firmly recommend downloading and buying this CD if not to support the band but for the awesome well rounded quality of it.

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Beastly

Is that his good angle?

Is that his good angle?

UK Release Date:

Director: Daniel Barnz

Cast: Alex Pettyfer, Vanessa Hudgens, Neil Patrick Harris & Mary-Kate Olsen

REVIEW:

As sad as it is to see HMV going down the toilet once again, there is always something you can rely on when such a huge company pops its clogs and that my friends is: The Blue-Cross sale. With 25% off almost everything in a store as cool as HMV, its been really hard for me to resist not taking a peek inside and both times I have done so, I have walked out with so much stuff its unreal but hey, at least it was cheap, right? Anyway, this isn’t a piece about me gloating at the fact I’m making a killing off of the death of one of Britain’s most famous hight street names; it’s a review so now onto the film.

So to start, I picked up this film as part of a pair in a two for £10 shelf; it looked a little strange for a six foot four inches tall guy to be carrying around a total chick flick in his hands but when the other DVD in that pair was the BBC’s serial adaptation of Pride and Prejudice it wasn’t really that damning now was it? And even so, who was going to argue with me about it? Anyway, so I picked this up above everything else because of a few things: The first of these that it starred Alex Pettyfer, whom I quite like even as  a heterosexual man. He’s pretty cool and well, if I could swap lives with anyone for a day it would probably be him. The second reason is because I heard that it was basically a modern day retelling of Beauty and The Beast, which was one of my favourite Disney movies as a kid so, how bad could it be right?

So, the movie IS a modern day retelling of Beauty and the Beast focussing on High School Prince, Kyle [Alex Pettyfer] and his behaviour towards his fellow man, woman and child due to his vanity. Kyle has been led to believe that how people see him is directly proportional to what he looks like. Spoilt and shallow, Kyle is then transformed into something as ugly on the outside as he is on the inside after trying to humiliate a certain female student/ witch: Kendra [Mary-Kate Olsen]. Kyle now has one whole year to get someone to say those three magic words: “I love you” before the transformation becomes permanent.

Kyle and his anchorman father though have other ideas. Kyle is soon living a life of solitude within a lavish apartment with no one but his Jamaican housemaid and his newly appointed blind Tutor [Which surprising is Neil Patrick Harris] for company and time running short. His major breakthrough comes when a classmate of his, whom has been nothing but invisible most of her School life becomes the target of Kyle’s affections. Cue our Belle replacement, Lindy [Vanessa Hudgens] whom is soon living with Kyle, the Housemaid and Neil Patrick Harris as Kyle begins his miraculous transformation from self-loving jerk to most benevolent human being on the planet.

RATING: AAA

Although an interesting take on that good ol’ “Tale as Old as Time”, Beastly is missing some of the key magical elements that the original Beauty and the Beast has; maybe it’s the fact that they replaced the cool talking furniture characters with nothing but a housemaid and a blind man. Or maybe it’s because Beastly doesn’t quite rock the same amazing musical numbers as the original animated adventure did. I just don’t know but it just wasn’t as magical as The Beauty and The Beast that I grew up with as a child. Even though Pettyfer, Hudgens, Olsen and even NPH give some quite good performances; this film was if anything mediocre. It just goes to show that some classics don’t need that modern day retelling and that maybe, just maybe, that magic we’re all looking foir in films can be found by looking back rather than looking forward.

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I’m back and you know I can blog!

Hello there, it’s been a while. People whom know me know that I do this a lot, the whole leave the blog for ages and randomly come back and start getting myself in order. It’s just a habit I suppose and old habits die hard.  But I’m quite glad I’m back if I have to be honest, I’ve never really forgotten about the blog, I’ve just been having a little bit of an existential crisis. Ever since my last blog post about the knockdown and how it shook my confidence; nothing really got better. Nope. Not at all, in fact it got a lot worse as I began thinking about quitting University and writing in general anyway. I’m still not really sure what it was that caused me to fall into such a dark and bitter place but… well, I’m out of it now and that is what matters. I owe a few people huge amounts of thanks after their support helped me get back on my feet. But that’s for me and them to know. For now, I’m just going to talk about where I’ve been and what I’ve got planned for the Authorial’s near future.

So, let’s deal with the first question: Add, where have you been? I was surprised to see my inbox full of messages that said these sort of things. I had no real idea how much people enjoyed my few and far between posts but to those people whom messaged me, here is your answer: I really don’t know. I have been sat staring at my computer monitor for ours playing League of Legends I suppose, editing University work or maybe even just staring at the screen with no particular goals. But I have been here physically just not here mentally. My mind’s been all over the place, like I said, I’ve been in a dark place and writing hasn’t been something I’ve really wanted to do since falling into it. I hated it almost when I come to think, writing had become the bane of my existence and the annoying thing was that I was constantly surrounded by it. I had things to do, ideas I could see so vividly that I could touch them and friends urging me to do something other than sit around angry and depressed at my own lack of motivation. I tried everything but in my mind, I was stuck. Everything was shit and as a result, I was shit. Dark times. But finally things look they’re going my way. I’ve been very happy with the pieces I’ve submitted to university and my faith has been restored. So, it’s time to get my head off the floor and back in the clouds.

If that makes any sense…

So… Moving on, the second question: What now for the Authorial? Easy, more! More reviews! More prose! More poetry! More everything! Damn straight! The most exciting thing I’m working on at the moment though, is my as of yet unnamed Assassin’s Creed Fanfiction; I’m going along the same lines as I did with my old Halo: Prisoners of Reach fanfiction where I’ve asked my friends to submit profiles of characters loosely based on themselves and I’m going to write about their adventures. I remember the joy of having such colourful and diverse characters back on my old blog, so hopefully, this can get me going back in the right direction when it comes down to writing. And with my friend’s behind me, there’s no chance I could fail. Right?

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